Today was a fairly good day. I woke up nauseated but had some plain rice and took my anti-nausea medicine. Then, Gloria and I set out to Costco to get some foods that I can actually eat. I got a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables, hummus, Rice Chex cereal and rice milk. Tomorrow I am heading to Whole Foods Market to get rice bread and rice pasta. Just having foods to eat made me feel a lot better by this evening. Ray had friends over and of course they brought pasta salad, a chocolate cake, and he made biscuits to go with his barbecue pork loin so I felt a little frustrated. It is hard to have foods in front of me that I have always been able to eat and make the conscious decision to not have it. I try to keep the end goal in mind: to feel healthy and energetic again. I have to get rid of this constant nausea, throwing up and such and it would be optimal to scale back the constant fibromyalgia pain.

Ray thinks that I need to talk to more people about what is going on with me. The problem is that it is very personal to talk about pain. Especially when I am talking about pain that other people can't see or necessarily understand. I think he feels uncomfortable talking with me about it himself. It is kind of like the whole grieving process; people are understanding to a point but it gets overwhelming to always hear about sadness, pain and frustration. I feel like this whole thing has put a big dent in my reputation at work. It is completely true and legit, but I get the overwhelming feeling that people think I am being dramatic. It is really frustrating. I have always prided myself on being a hard worker, going above and beyond my "duties" to do the best I can. Suddenly, I am getting violently ill in the middle of a shift and unable to even finish work. When there are only two of us in the store that ends up being a bigger problem. Ideally I would find a job with benefits, but it's hard to find a job when I am too sick to do the part time job I already have and have been successful at. Still, I have to believe I am on the road to recovery?