Today was a fairly good day. I woke up nauseated but had some plain rice and took my anti-nausea medicine. Then, Gloria and I set out to Costco to get some foods that I can actually eat. I got a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables, hummus, Rice Chex cereal and rice milk. Tomorrow I am heading to Whole Foods Market to get rice bread and rice pasta. Just having foods to eat made me feel a lot better by this evening. Ray had friends over and of course they brought pasta salad, a chocolate cake, and he made biscuits to go with his barbecue pork loin so I felt a little frustrated. It is hard to have foods in front of me that I have always been able to eat and make the conscious decision to not have it. I try to keep the end goal in mind: to feel healthy and energetic again. I have to get rid of this constant nausea, throwing up and such and it would be optimal to scale back the constant fibromyalgia pain.

Ray thinks that I need to talk to more people about what is going on with me. The problem is that it is very personal to talk about pain. Especially when I am talking about pain that other people can't see or necessarily understand. I think he feels uncomfortable talking with me about it himself. It is kind of like the whole grieving process; people are understanding to a point but it gets overwhelming to always hear about sadness, pain and frustration. I feel like this whole thing has put a big dent in my reputation at work. It is completely true and legit, but I get the overwhelming feeling that people think I am being dramatic. It is really frustrating. I have always prided myself on being a hard worker, going above and beyond my "duties" to do the best I can. Suddenly, I am getting violently ill in the middle of a shift and unable to even finish work. When there are only two of us in the store that ends up being a bigger problem. Ideally I would find a job with benefits, but it's hard to find a job when I am too sick to do the part time job I already have and have been successful at. Still, I have to believe I am on the road to recovery?

Nightshade Vegetables and such

Well, I am back yet again and have done a lot more reading on fibromyalgia. My current plan is to do an elimination diet where I cut out all of the potentially inflamatory foods that affect my FMS and then gradually add them back to see which things I am sensitive. A general list of things I am cutting out:
1. Dairy.
2. Wheat / Gluten.
3. Aspartame (NutraSweet).
4. MSG (monosodium glutimate).
5. Nightshade fruits and vegetables (white potatoes, tomatoes, zucchini, eggplant, paprika).
6. Oranges, Limes and Lemons.
7. Refined sugars.

This is definitely not going to be easy. I have never had to make such a major change to my diet but I am SO sick of feeling sick all of the time, taking painkillers and sleep medication just to survive. I really hate this part of my life and it has held me back from so much. In mid November I am turning 30 and I plan to do everything in my power to make my 30's a fantastic decade.
P.S. In case you were wondering (I did) a nightshade vegetable is a vegetable that continues to grow overnight when the sun is down :-)

Just getting started

As I read more about managing my fibromyalgia and trying to lose weight they have the same first step: keep a journal! So, while I am trying to get into shape and manage my fibromyalgia symptoms I figure keeping one comprehensive journal is the way to go. I am 29 years old and feel like so much of my body is out of my control. I am always cloudy headed and have been entirely dependent on pain medication of one form or another to lead a minimal life of normalcy. As is often the case, the factors that I am overcoming are all connected, creating complex hurdles for me to overcome. In my case, the main issues I have are:

1. Depression

2. Fibromyalgia.

3. TMJ

4. Being overweight.



They are phycially and mentally interactive in my life and it is hard for me to sort through them so that I can start to improve at least one aspect of my life. So, I have started this blog not only as a journal of my symptoms, my successes, my failures, and so on, but as an accountability for my life. Tomorrow I will take my "before" pictures and post them. It is hard for me to look at myself this way. I have struggled with a sadness and self-hatred that runs very deep for me. My weight has crept up slowly as my anti-depressant has gone higher and higher. The trade off is that my mood is better and much more stable with the anti-depressant. I was so down for a while that I didn't even want to get up and use the bathroom, so an anti-depressent was a necessary tool to get me back on track. I truly believe that if I can start eating right and working out my symptoms of fibromyalgia and depression will back off a little or a lot. So, this blog shall document my success, failure or whatever this project may bring. . .